Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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