'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
