R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize