Duck Duck Cougar?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize