left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
