tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Randomize
