: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
