she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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