I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
