i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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