wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
