I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
