i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
