Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
