We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
