if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
