Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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