how can u be prego again
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
