do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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