First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
