Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
