she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
