Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
