The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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