idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
