And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
