Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
