I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize