You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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