I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
