After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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