Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
