I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
