you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
