In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
The adults are the big ones right?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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