You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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