Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
