areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
