And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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