sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
