I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
