Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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