Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
