____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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