Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize