He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
