I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
