He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
