I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
