I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
i need some magic done to my vagina
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize