Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
