My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
