Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
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