I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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