You really coming over, don't trick.
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
