I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
so much tequila, so little girl.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
