Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
