i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
