So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
