I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
