We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
