I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
